Recently I had one of those days; you know, the ones where everything just seems to NOT go your way. Work was overwhelming, my mind was wandering all over the place, and I just couldn’t seem to focus. I felt like screaming at the world to just stop for a minute and give me a chance to breathe. Just when I felt like I was going to burst, I drove to Peet’s Coffee (for may latest favorite, iced soy chai), mainly to clear my mind. As I was driving, I was talking to a friend of mine (and updating my Twitter 
, and they told me how blessed I was. My initial thought was, “blessed…are you kidding me? My life is out of controlâ€. And then I began to reflect on all the things God has done in my life, and to be honest, I then felt a bit guilty. Recently, I’ve been living out my dream and here I am complaining- shame on me!
Less than a year ago I had lost the love of my life, my house was almost in foreclosure, and on a regular basis I found myself curled up into a ball crying out to God. Now, when I stop and see where I am today, I am amazed. I have an incredible job at The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, I live with my sister (and best friend) and have people coming up to me on a regular basis saying they are “fans†of mine. All of this just blows me away, my life has been flipped upside-down in the past year and it’s humbling and exciting to be on this journey.
I recently read that we should, “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials, because that testing develops perseveranceâ€. My goal for each day is simply to remember that I’m here on earth for a bigger purpose, and it’s not about me. I was having a conversation with my manager recently regarding the impact that all of us as individuals have here on earth. He had just returned from his second trip to Haiti, and after hearing the stories of all that is happening down there, I’m moved to do more with my life. I have to count my blessings and do whatever I can to show love to the hurting.
The next time I feel down or alone I hope I stop to realize how truly blessed I am.
Speak Love, Act Love, Live Love
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SO true, Tenley, and so well put!
Holly said you were with her when she read my email about hearts… check out my website and let me know which color you want. http://www.jewelry-by-jill.com
Thanks! Stay sweet and wonderful! And always count your blessings <3
lots of love
Jill =)
Wow! I am moved by your blog. You are such an awesome person. I’m actually an admissions coordinator myself and feel that sometimes I want to do more with my life. I feel like theres so much more out there for me. Then I think where I am today compared to where I was yesterday(or you know- last week, last month, last year, etc.) and I have grown. I just want to say hello. You’re great.
Tenley,
Recently my husband deployed to Iraq for a one year tour. I can totally relate to being grateful for what we have in our lives. I praise the lord every day for every phone call and email that I get from him. God is truly a blessing and such an amazing rock to lean on. I try to remember every day that God has a plan for all of us and we just need to trust in him! Good luck on having a great day tomorrow!
Tenley, You are such an inspiration to me. Your courage and your faith in God is extraordinary!
Tenley, you have such a great attitude. God has a purpose for all of us. Sometimes life is so hard but you’re right in saying “consider it pure joy whenever we face trials …”. When I saw you on the show, you were my favorite. You and I had a lot in common. I too was married at the young age of 22 and around our one year anniversary things went very south very fast. My former spouse decided to just leave out of the blue. I knew something was terribly wrong. I started to conduct my own little private eye investigation. I researched our phone bills and saw a reoccurring number and decided to call it. Turned out he was cheating on me with an 18-year-old from his work. “Awesome”, I thought. I was completely shattered. I had saved myself for marriage and couldn’t believe God allowed that to happen to me. But, sometimes we need to be chastised a wee bit by God in order for him to get our full on attention. I grew even closer to God during that time and relied on him more than ever. I’m happy to say that I am re-married and I will be celebrating my two year wedding anniversary next month. I actually went to highschool with my husband, Dustin. He caught wind that I was single again and pursued me. I’ve never had a man pursue me like Dustin did. Maybe if I would have been patient and listened to God in the first place I would have been with Dustin from the beginning. But, I honestly have no regrets. I am the strong and spiritual woman I am today due to my life’s “speed bumps”. I’ll tell you what else. I’m not much of a reader and I’m not sure if you are but whenever you get the chance you should consider picking up the book “So Long Insecurity” by Christian author Beth Moore. All women should pick up this read. It’s inspirational and it’s nice to know that you aren’t the only woman that feels and goes through certain situations. Blessings to you girl! Stay strong in your beliefs.
What a great blog! I am also a true believer that things happen for a reason, and that sometimes we have to go through the worst heartache and loss to end up right where we are supposed to be. If things were easy all the time, how could we appreciate the good? You’re an inspiration to women everywhere… I was such a fan of yours on the show and I truly hope that the path you’re on leads you right to your fairytale ending. You deserve it! xo
I just randomly came across this website, and I was a huge fan of yours on the bachelor! lol, but i just wanted to tell you that this post was a big encouragement. & God is so good.
Tenley, I find it amazing what you have gone through. And I am sorry that you had to go through all that frustrating and hurtful stuff with Jake, but I am so encouraged to know that you keep your faith, especially when life gets hard, and you aren’t ashamed to share it with the public! God has truly blessed you. You have been such an inspiration to many people! Hang in there girl. God has your REAL Prince Charming or Knight in Shining Armor and He is saving him for you. God will give him to you when the timing is right! You know, when I was single, all my friends “had someone”, and I was the last one, but I chose to wait for God to bring me that someone special in His timing. Knowing it would be so hard to just “wait”, i did, and I am now married to an amazing Christian husband, and we have a five month old baby boy! (last year we lost our first baby to a miscarriage) Be blessed, and continue to count your blessings! God bless you, girl! You Rock!
~ Raychel Gear (from Indiana)
First of all, this website looks great! I look forward to what it will become. I also want to join in with the many people who supported you from the beginning. Your sweet spirit set you apart from all the others. You are indeed blessed, not just with your circumstances, but with your character.
In my mind, God has elevated you to this place to demonstrate how His strength is made perfect in weakness. At the moment when you could have become bitter toward both God and the world, your heart was strong enough to be thankful. There’s no faking that. It had to be real. And I know that the natural heart-the one we have before we receive God’s forgiveness-cannot be thankful in such circumstances.
So, I encourage you to go on in the strength you have in Jesus Christ, and help those who have suffered as you have. You have a powerful testimony of both the power and the purpose that will help each of us endure our trials. Thank you for encouraging me with it! God bless you.
I go to exercise class with your Grandmother Carol. I am not usually a fan of the Bachelor, but it was like football: when you know someone on the team, the game is so much more exciting. At class we would all talk about the last show and how you were doing. Anyway, you have many, many Grandmas up here!!! And we’re all cheering for you, no matter where your path takes you. You are an inspiration for young women in today’s crazy world.
And yes, you are blessed.
Hey Tenley!
You know I was thinking about you the other day, I know weird! But I was thinking about how I fell in love with you on the show, how I wished I was Jake, he had this amazing and beautiful woman that in my opinion should be what every man strives for in a woman. I will say I am so proud of you and how you have been moving forward in such a positive way in your life…good for you! I can assume that you have had a flood of men that have been scrambling for your attention, not that I can blame them you are so beautiful and amazing, it would be difficult to not become smitten with you and fall in love with you, so I will keep this simple, if you are looking for a guy that is a good, honest, loyal, and loving man then please feel free to drop me a line and get to know me for me and see what real, true, honest love is, from a small town guy that still knows what its like to enjoy the simple little things that life has to offer.
Much Love,
Trace
Hi Tenley,
Am I the first to reply? I just came across your website and I find that you are an inspiration to me. I am about to start a new journey in my life and I’m hoping I can stay as positive as you. I need to find God again, and myself.
-Angie
Hi Tenley.
A friend of mine mentioned me about you.
And I am so deeply moved by your realness. It is very difficult to find people in the entertainment industry that is willing to show the love of God, even admitting their own struggles. Thanks for being an encouragement simply by your realness.
Here is a clip of a testimony that I did about a week ago. It is also very raw, and I never watched it myself. But it’s kind of cool to see how God works in all ways: http://www.kacmedia.org/index.php/Upper-Room/Sexual-Molestation.html
Any way, I’ll hope to connect in some way in the near future.
Lisa’s told me great things about you.
Till then,
God bless!
Bonnie
Tenley
You were by far my favorite on this last season of the bachelor. I connected you to your story because it hit such a personal part of me. I went to Cedarville University in Ohio and was engaged when i graduated in 2004. Well needless to say that relationship ended right before we were about to get married. I was devastated but what got me through was my relationship with the Lord. I want you to know I think you carried yourself and your morals very well on the show and I really enjoy reading your blog. It really showed through how much you held onto your faith. You are blessed and you have a friend in me anytime!!!
James is one of my favorite books of the Bible!!
Lyn Sampson
Dayton, Ohio
Wow you are truely an inspiration it is so nice to know there are other girls out the with faith and good morals! so glad i found your web site!
You are beautiful, inside and out! Thank You for being such an inspiration
Hi Tenley, just finished watchin season 14 and i fell in love with you on the show!! i wana ask you out on a date please! i think we are a perfect match!
natie from london xx
It was truly a pleasure to meet you tonight at Taco Mamacita! It was sincerely refreshing to wait on 4 Christian women who were genuinely nice people!
Life is overwhelming when the skies are gray and when the skies are blue. Taking the time to stop and realize how truly blessed we really are and that we are not on this earth for ourselves is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Happiness is something we all search for and strive to obtain, but when we don’t have it, it so very easy to stop and make everything about ourselves and lose sight of the bigger picture. It’s definitely something I struggle with on a daily basis. Prayer seems like the only answer that I know of!
Once again, awesome to meet you and God Bless!Let me know if any of those pictures you guys took turned out good, I’d love to get a copy.
Cheers!
Jon
Tenley, you’re just as cute as can be and your personality just shines, but don’t drive, update your twitter, and talk on a cell phone at the same time! That’s not setting a very good example and since I know how great of a person you are, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you won’t do it again. LOL
Other than that, keep being a great example of overcoming adversity, your story can help a lot of people.
I just wanted to let you know what an inspiration you are. I have always been a fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows, but I have never been so impressed with anyone handling difficult situations with so much class as you did. God has clearly blessed you with an unquenchable spirit of joy–something SO encouraging to see in a world that seems to have plenty of emptiness and negativity!
I wish you all the best, and I hope that you always keep your faith no matter what trials this life may bring!!
Laura
Cincinnati, Ohio
Hebrews 3:13 “But encourage one another daily…”
Continue to keep God as your focus Tenley. You are blessed, and all the trials and tribulations you have been through make you who you are.
Tenley, you seem to have such a wonderful outlook on life. The James 1:2-3 passage is always an inspiration to me when I feel stressed and rundown. You seem to be such a very positive role model, I hope you continue so that all who see/know you can see God’s light in you.
First off, my goal for this comment is not to talk as a “fan”, because I honestly don’t follow the bachelor or any of those other shows (no offense). My goal is to just be as real as I can. I got filled in on all of the TV happenings from my friend’s wife who loves the bachelor and she gave me the rundown as she was watching the big interview show that they did after the bachelor season was over, so that’s how I came to know of you.
Aside from all that, I know what type of day you were talking about in your blog. Nothing goes right and no matter what you try to do it seems the world, that day, is out solely for you. Whoever your friend was who you talked with, they were right on the money. I’m 26 years old myself and I know that I get so caught up with the whirlwind of events going on in my life, that I forget to stop and truly “smell” the roses sometimes and I take for granted all the things that God has blessed me with. But I agree whole-heartedly with you that we are here for something much much bigger than ourselves.
I guess the reason I’m writing this is because it is really inspiring to hear someone my age realize these things, because I feel that when we’re this young, it is so much easier to get caught up in the “me” view of things. And in turn, we forget that there are so many people that are so much worse off than we are or perhaps could ever be. I’m finishing up grad school for physical therapy, and I recently came back from a trip to Guatemala, where the health care system is not so good. Just seeing those people and what they have to live with was truly eye opening and I felt great assurance that I was where God wanted me to be as far as my life’s work! Like you said, it made me feel guilty for ever feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve had my share of ups and downs in relationships and have dealt with betrayal and unfaithfulness. I could never figure out why being nice always equaled, for lack of a better term, getting the shaft. I’ve had plenty of arguments with God, and what I’ve realized and am still realizing is that what’s meant to be will be. It sounds like you are realizing that as well and I’m happy for you that you are. I don’t pretend to know what you went through regarding your struggles, but I do know how good it feels to finally reach the surface and be able to breath again. I hope that your passion for spreading love to the hurting never dies. Be encouraged
God Bless
great post as usual!
Hi Tenley,
I watched The Bachelor and hoped you would get selected, but like you, I believe God has a plan for each of us, and He always gives us His BEST. I think it is fantastic that you are using this opportunity of singlehood to do good deeds and pursue your goals. Things will fall into place, in God’s GREAT timing.
Keep up the good work, and when you feel down, remember to look up!
Ana Lucia
I totally ‘get’ where you’re coming from, Ms. Molzahn. I am kind of in the same place you were a year or so aga, struggling to keep my sanity in the crazy world around. It still hasn’t sorted itself out yet either but when, Lord willing, it does, you can look back on it, I suppose, and say it was ‘worth it.’
It’s a biiiig “I suppose.” I know Job did but he understood through it the sovereignty of God and, frankly, I don’t know if God brings you trials to learn about yourself, as to learn about him. Job did but there are too many Pollyanna Christians who fail to realize just how ‘trying’ those trying times are; and mostly because it doesn’t happen as intimately to them as it does for others.
I think of your life, the trials and pain of losing your husband, then losing Jake, and I think ‘YOU’ get it. But do we ever really? We can’t always live in the hope of better days, just pray that we can manage the ones we are given and find what merit we can in surviving through them. And if we learn more about God through it, ok, but He works in mysterious ways and there are forces and things at work that go far beyond our limited human comprehension. It’s humbling and it’s profound I suppose, to realize how little we are as people, and how vast is the power of God. But it’s also unsettling.
If nothing else we learn, though, its important that we learn we always need to learn. And the biggest lesson from that is that your ‘ship’ doesn’t always come in (and if it does it might be the Titanic or the Hindenburg), that it may rain on your parade, and what love and cherish beyond words, is not necessarily something you will get.
In the end, whether that end is a blessing or a curse, all you’re left with is your self, your TRUE self, not the facade we put before others. IF you can accept that, then you have a gift. If you can’t, then you have lived a lie and that’s too bad because life, what we have of it and what we make it, must be lived in truth and the greatest and hardest truth is about who you are and who God is in your life.
It’s not always nice and the endings are not always happy either. What matters, ultimately, is how yo come to terms with it. THAT is your true measure as a person and in it may be the only redeeming quality we have as people and as players in the drama of the life on Earth that God gives to each of us to live.
I pray, then, that for your life, you are as happy tomorrow as you are today, as I do for others and myself. But I also pray that, on your journey, God becomes more real to you as well. He did for Job, and he repented in ‘dust and ashes’ even though he was, as God said, ‘perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil.’
Not every day is a ‘blessing’ nor can it always be. Some people are ordained to a life of misery and disappointments, for reasons we cannot fathom. Even Christ was called a ‘man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.’ But in His grief and in His sorrow I believe that Jesus gained an intimate connection with OUR humanity and, through that, combined with His divine essence, was truly able to bridge the eternal divide between our frailties and the divinity of God too. And that allows Him, even now, as Paul said in Hebrews 7:25, to “….. save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.”
Just a thought.
God bless you now and always.
Sincerely,
I.M. Ulysses.
You are a beautiful and talented woman!
I have to say that I am with you 100% Love is an action, a choice, something you choose to do. I think too many people think of it as a “feeling” If we went off feelings for everything, well then we wouldn’t have control of our lives, because our emotions would be running them. I choose to love all the people I do, the only reason that is possible for me is through the grace of God. You were my favorite while I watched the Bachelor… for the first time since Trista and Ryan.
I really think you are an inspiration. God sends us challenges, but it’s what we do with those challenges that determine our character. 
God bless, and keep up the great work!
you are such an amazing lady! I think sometimes we do tend to forget that God is good and that we are blessed…..your words helped me today. God Bless
You are blessed and beautiful and always take moments for yourself.
“My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never need to carry more then you can hold adn while your out there gettin where your gettin to…I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things to….Yeah this is My Wish”
This is from my favorite song called My Wish from Rascal Flatts!
God Bless you,
Arrivederci, Michelle
Wow, i read your blog and I can honestly say it affected me. So much is going on in the world today and too many people think about themselves and their problems when there are people all over the world who are having difficulties worse then we could ever imagine. I think everyone should take a moment out of there day and just pray for someone rather it be someone they know or just pray for that unknow person in the world. Also I loved watching you on Bachelor. You were my husband and my favorite. I hope that everything starts looking up for you. I know all about the trials in life. Mu husband and I started dating when we were 16 and married when we were 21. We’ve been blessed with a nice house and cars and jobs, but we so want to start a family. I have some female issues that the doctors are trying to resolve and there are days that I just want to cry because I feel like such a failure in that department. But then I stop and think about the mothers who have lost there children or women who can never get pregnant and thank god that I will be able to eventually. I hope and pray that you find that one person that god has for you.
Thank you Tenley for being a blessing to everyone. I am going through my own trials. My marriage of 19 years is ending because my spouse has decided he’s not happy and wants to be with someone else. I have spent many days myself crying and angry. I am beginning to come to terms with the situation and know that there is a reason for this trial. I believe God can turn my situation around but first I need to fix myself and become the woman God designed me to be. Watching you and seeing the trials you have overcome makes me believe that anything is possible.
What a great reminder and challenge from the book of James you referred to in accepting and growing through the trials and temptations that are allowed in our lives for God’s likeness and Glory! He does promise to “work them ALL out for the good to those who Love Him.” I think it is so sweet to see how your experiences and opportunities have driven your heart toward realizing a bigger and eternal purpose in knowing who you were created to be and how to Love as God has loved you. May you continue opening up your heart as it is so joyful and apparent that you have much to offer to Him and to someone else in His perfect timing! Stay blessed and highly favored, Clint
Dear Tenley,
Thank you SO much. You are such an encouragement to millions of people. I think what you are doing with your life is beautiful. And I want to tell you how much I appreciate you slipping God’s truth into what you post. I understand how people can shut you out because of it, but truthfully, it is life-breathing and the world needs to hear it. Thank you for knowing and tackling that responsibility. I read that passage in James today and it is one of my favorites. We are all blessed beyond measure. Thanks for reminding me today!!
I don’t think that it matters at what stage of life we are at. Finding struggle seems to be at all levels life. As was discussed by Tenley, life simply will not wait for us to catch our breathe unless we find the time to reflect on what is important and just how blessed we truly are. The secret to happiness comes through service to others or in other words through charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ and when one gives of themselves it has an effect on the giver. That is where we find happiness. Thank you Tenley for sharing that. It’s nice to know some people still share these increasingly rare values.
Truly beautiful words from a beautiful woman, wish there were more people in the world like you! I so admire and am proud to see you take your blessings and experiences and use those for such good, spreading the message of love for all of us who really need to hear and see it! You have become quite and inspiration! God Bless you in all you do!! God bless the love you will have again!!
Hello Tenley, just wanted to leave a comment and tell you just how wonderful of a girl you seem. From reading your story above, I can relate to how you have felt. Life is giving me the “kick in the gut” treatment right now but your right, there is never really time to feel down and you should always count your blessings. For me personally in the past year, I lost my mother to disease and after that, also lost what I thought was the love of my life. What has actually helped me get through the tough times is helping others as I am an Intensive Care Nurse at a local hospital. I see people everyday who are going through their worst day in their lives when they come into my care and I take pride in being able to make a difference. I, to the best of my abilities, no longer feel sorry for myself and do believe there are bigger purposes if we choose to follow those paths. I might have lost my mother but I was able to learn and grow under her loving guidance for the 1st 26 years of my life while many do not get that opportunity. I might have lost a woman who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with but am more certain now there is another out there better for me. I plan on going to Haiti this December with a organization called Operation H.O.P.E. that is run by a local physician and will be providing medical aid to Haitian refugees.
I read this quote the other day that has really stuck with me, its by the late Senator Robert Kennedy and he states, “Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” Keep your head up beautiful and good luck in everything you do. -Matt
Tenely!
i think you are such an inspiring person and I feel like the message of this blog is something that everybody should try to understand.
Tenley,
God has created you with such beauty, especially inner beauty. May you continue to shine for Him as “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Thank you for your inspiration and for your continuous joy. It is special for me to know that there are godly women in this world who stick to their values and live lives of peace.
Take care Tenley and thanks again for your honesty and encouragement.
Dave Olson
Hey Tenley,
I just wanted to encourage you and thank you for standing firm in your beliefs. I watched you on The Bachelor and immediately you were my favorite. I knew you loved Jesus! You stood apart from all the others in both your physical beauty and most importantly your inner beauty. Thank you for being a light in this dark world. God will honor your faith and obedience in Him. Just wait on Him and His perfect timing. I didn’t get married til I was 29. I thought God had forgotten about me. Little did I know the work He was doing behind the scenes! He loves us so much! He is withholding the good to give you the GREAT!! He will REDEEM your broken heart! Blessings, Anna
I just want to say how much I loved you since day one of the Bachelor (You were my pic to end up with Jake) – I was extremely excited to see that you will be on the spin-off series the Bachelor Pad – And hope only good things come your way. Also, I am routing for you to win & hopefully capture the heart(s) of either Kypton or Jesse
I think they might be a good match for you.
Hi Tenley,
I enjoyed your sweet Christian witness on the The Bachelor and in your April 6th blog. Now that Jake and Vienna have broken up…would you be open to seeing and dating Jake again or did you learn some truths about him that aren’t very appealing to you now about him for how things have turned out? I say that because I thought you and Jake were the couple that could have continued exploring your lives together (if this show has any crediblity) and that eventually he would discover that Vienna was fluff. If he had chosen you, maybe you would have discovered some of these problems about him, too, so maybe it just as well. Anyway, the focus may be on you again now and if Jake would be in your life again. Surely other men have pursued you, too, since the conclusion of the Bachelor. I pray you’ll have God’s wisdom and continued direction for your life.
Wow Tenley.
You are so down to earth!
Good quote from James
Glad to see the Lord using you in powerful ways!
The quote that you read about considering trials pure joy, because that testing develops perserverance, was very inspiring. I watched the bachelor, and I thought you were the epitome of grace and beauty. Thanks for being an inspiration, and for not being ashamed to proclaim your christianity. God Bless=)
Crystal
God does wonderful things for people, You are blessed to have such amazing things happen to you!!! Yesm, life has it’s downs, in which I’m persistant about working through those … But then again life has it’s ups, in which I thank God for everyday… Overall, God has a reason for everything… I’m thankful that he has given us such wonderful talents and abilities to help make the world a better place!!!
God Bless You,
Katie Jordal
Oh wow what I nice refreshing blog to read for once.
Finally an inspiring and uplifting post.
Thanks Tenley!
I’ll be sure to tell others about your site. Hope you post more though =D
Hugs from Canada
You are a very beautiful and insightful woman. Jake made the largest mistake of his life chosing the way that he did. Obviously he wasn’t there himself to look for love for true love. Your passion radiated from the television screen and he couldn’t feel it there in person. Sigh, I don’t believe there will ever be home for us men.
Life will always bring us trials and we do have to thank God that we are as lucky as we are to be alive and to be given so many chances in life to do better. We are all capable of miracles.
It was a pleasure to make your television aquaitance
Hi
You are gorgeous.
Terry
It is so nice to see that you are able to see your blessings through the shadows that life sometimes can cast over our lives. We all have days or seasons when things just seem to not be going in the right direction, as we would have it. It is those days that I try to remind myself that maybe God has something even greater waiting for me on the other side of this hill or mountain that I am facing, and that I just can’t quite see what it is yet. I hope that you continue to let Him lead you in the direction that He has planned for you, and I am sure that you will continue to find true blessings in all that comes your way!